Levity
Suzy’s injuries are serious business that will take years to recover from. That said, moping is not productive or especially entertaining. Sitting in hospital rooms, waiting rooms, treatment rooms, or really any room while marinating in stress is not healthy. And this is Happytown, not Tragi-city — dammit!
To combat the emotional demons in the room, we sometimes tell (admittedly) silly, short jokes we find on the internet. The wordplay is a constructive (or mostly groan-worthy) distraction. Occasionally, a joke even elicits a response from Suzy.
Usually, it’s an eye-roll.
Here are some of our favorites.
What do you call someone who loves telling Dad Jokes but isn't a Dad?
🤔 🤔 🤔
A faux pa.
My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home. 👋
Did you hear about the racing snail that got rid of his shell?
🐌 🐌 🐌
He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.
I just burned 2,000 calories!
🔥 🔥 🔥
That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater. 🚢
My boss asked: “How come you only get sick on work days?”
🦠 🦠 🦠
I replied: “I guess I have a weekend immune system.”
Diet Day 1: I removed all the fattening food from my house.
It was delicious. 😋
My friend claims that he "accidentally" glued himself to his autobiography. I don't believe him, but that's his story, and he's sticking to it. 📓
Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
If you put your left shoe on the wrong foot... it's on the right foot. 😵💫
A guy accidentally pooped his pants in the elevator. He’s taking that shit to a whole new level. 💩
A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean. 🏴☠️ 🥧
Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world?
🐶🐶🐶
It only had one dog in it. It was a Shitzu. 🥁
Subway is definitely the healthiest fast food available because they make you get out of the car.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks. The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, "Can you all see me now?" And they respond: "Yes." "Oui." "Sí." "Ja."
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering...
…do I keep the letters?
I once broke up with my girlfriend because I found out she was a communist. I should have known — there were just so many red flags.
Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?
👻 👻 👻
They taste like sheet.
I have a photographic memory. I’m just waiting for it to develop. 🎞️
Why does coffee hate mornings?
☕️ ☕️ ☕️
It keeps getting mugged!
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some lip balm — and put it on my bill!"
🦆
